A Woman’s Will

Where is the sign-up sheet? You know the one where women signup to be responsible for all the nurturing, competitive careers, cleaning, planning, scheduling, organizing, shopping, being a turn-on, being quiet, compliant, and responsible. I’d like to remove my name. I’d like to remove all our names.”

April A

This is a woman, a mother, an employee, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a homeowner, a friend, an advocate, a volunteer and a group member. She is stressed, exhausted, overwhelmed, frustrated and feeling underappreciated at work and at home. She wants so much more for her life, she wants to accomplish a list so long she couldn’t possibly write it all down. She is struggling to get organized, to take care of herself and her family. In all areas, she feels like a disappointment.

When she is told how well she is doing, she finds it hilarious and viscerally rejects the notion. She wants to do better, to know more, to accomplish more, to be able to do it all concurrently. She knows she needs to reach out and get help, to improve processes, but doesn’t even have the time to think about it! She knows she needs to exercise, she looks in the mirror and reminds herself every single time to do better. But when? How?

Maybe next week, when the kids are feeling better, when work isn’t so busy, when she finishes this project, when these migraines stop being so debilitating. Work never slows down though. It is a rush of expectations, pressure and responsibility from every angle. If she gives work her all, she is a disappointment to her family. If she focuses on her family, she falls behind at work. She longs for quiet moments, some time to rest, some time to plan, some time to organize. It never happens though. One week becomes a month, which becomes a year, which becomes years. She hardly recognizes herself anymore. She looks back at photos from 10 years ago and thinks, wait that was me? Or is this me? How did I blink and get here? Was I asleep at the wheel? But as quickly as those thoughts come, they go because someone is demanding something from her.

She will start a revolution, and bring people with her. Let’s start with some community support. What encouraging words would we give her?