For those of us who have kids, how do we nurture? Is there a manual that comes from the hospital that says how to juggle work, relationships, family, our bodies, our children, our homes, our minds and souls? There are so many books in the world, but yet I see women to the left and right of me exhausted and crying out for help. Why is that?
Biologically, we are designed to reproduce. We build whole humans, incubate them for 9 months, and somehow get them outside our bodies, shift our organs back into place, our bodies are forever changed, our mind automatically worries about another human and how they are doing every second of the day. Meanwhile, the rest of the world keeps on spinning. Jobs demand our return date, relationships demand affection, family demands time and attention, and we are left chasing our tails. This has been happening for so long, we seem to have forgotten what a miracle life is. There are those that struggle with health, fertility or miscarriages, and they may be able to pause, and appreciate the divine beauty of it all. The rest of us are zombies. Slaves to the hectic, rushing schedule. My point in this all, is to stop. Pause, really think about it. You did what!? Brought a whole human into this world? A whole one? And kept it alive? You went back to work? Before they were 18? You must be some super hero. Do not for a second discount yourself just because you are not the first person on the earth to do it. Our comparisons rob us from the magnificence of what we do.
“Peace is not always easy to grasp or keep close. In the process of attaining and protecting it, you may find yourself tired, weary, and uncertain on how to keep your peace safe. While being uncertain is normal, continue to commit yourself to peacefulness. You are worthy of every drop of sweetness and ease that you encounter. Being tested is a part of the journey. Giving up, and letting go, is not.”
― Alex Elle
Have you ever had a friend who just gives herself such a hard time, completely missing the fact that she is a rock-star? You think the world of her, and all of her choices, but yet she is constantly disappointed in herself. Why is that? Biologically, we are designed to reproduce. We have evolved to be extremely effective at pouring our entire bodies, minds, souls, love and neurons right into these humans we make from scratch. We literally tear ourselves apart to bring them onto this earth. Some of us even experience that, and then go back and do it again! Then we do not cherish our bodies afterwards. This is imperfect. We look in the mirror and see imperfections because we are fed these myths. But those friends we admire, are not all that impressive. The thing is, we attract into our lives the same energy that we are putting out. If you have friends you are impressed by, chances are they are just a mirror of the characteristics that you emanate yourself. You just can’t see it. Think about someone you admire. Find one positive quality that you could see other people thinking about you as well. Hold on to that. Blow on it like a flame needing your stoking. That is your fire, and we have to tend to it, to make it grow. When we do? It warms everyone around us. It is not a selfish act.
Quick fixes will never work. No one’s life will be cured forever in one time use of joy. We have to practice it, embrace it, and practice some more. Try to think of your body and mental state as your tiny fire. It is at risk of going out if you ignore your inner needs. Find time for quiet to figure out how best to take the next action.
Also, here are some quick fixes that I have tested myself and cannot recommend higher. Appeal to your senses. They connect you back to your inner flame.
- Affection. Cuddle with your kids, your dogs, your partner, hug a friend. A 20 second hug has been shown to positively affect your health! Or, a 6 second kiss! It is vulnerable to reach out and try to connect, but it is absolutely vital. Babies cannot live if they are not held. They will die, even if they are full-term, no other issues, nutrients delivered. They need to be held to survive. We never lose that.
- Treat yourself to food that you do not binge, but it does remind you of something beautiful
- Make time for silence. We fill our space with so much sound. Let the noise go and just find stillness and silence.
- Make a music list that makes you happy. Dance, play, sing in the shower. Enjoy it. Include the kids sometimes too!
- Weighted, heated eye mask https://a.co/d/g4c4THG
- Essential oils (organic)
- Lavender
- Bergamot
- Eucalyptus
- Patchouli
- Rose
0 Comments