There are 168 hours in a week. There are 40 spent working (at least), then 56 spent sleeping/in bed. That leaves 72 hours per week. Of course, we feel pressured to work more, not enough time to get all tasks done in 8 hours. Then there is eating, cooking, cleaning, laundry, watching TV, reading. Where do we spent our 72 hours. Are we letting the busy, hustle culture kill us? When we die, what is it we want to be remembered for?
We are programmed to deliver results. Task-based, we ask ourselves, what have I accomplished today? If it is not enough, we feel as if we have failed everyone. Interesting note, there is a difference here which I find fascinating between men and women. Men feel compelled to be the breadwinner. Their feeling of success rests in the hand of working, and delivering a paycheck. Full stop. It is only when we as women, demand more, that they notice where they are lacking (and that might not be possible for some). Women however, feel we need to be physically present. If we are not there for our family, our friends, our co-workers, then we feel incompetent (or insert better word for you in comments).
Have we any examples? Women do more of the cooking, cleaning, organizing, scheduling, planning, communicating, analyzing, reaching out, decorating, setting up playdates, asking for help, researching options, working in the home, doing laundry, clothes/food/decoration/gift shopping. Why is that still acceptable? What would inspire men to step-it-up? What encouragement could we give, that is effective, to the men in our lives?
The point in pointing out this division, is that women feel a heavy set of expectations that men just do not feel. We feel the need to always be doing, feeling, nuturing, working, earning, respecting, loving, connecting, thinking, responding, attending to, and so much more. We get agitated with the men in our lives, whether at work or home, because they just don’t have that same drive. We cannot force them to have that same drive.
We cannot control what other people will feel, think, say, rationalize, consider, ignore, intend, react, or do. All you can control, is yourself. Our thoughts dictate our responses, which dictate our actions, which dictate our future. Choose carefully.”
Co-conspire with us a new way. Let us generate a thoughtful intent of changing the narrative. Women do not need to be present, to be impactful. Women do not need to deliver a set quantity of results to be successful. We are all miracles, put on this earth to do something unique to our skills, interests, and strengths. How can we bring that out in the people around us? Encourage each other. Maintain curiosity, non-judgement, and support.
The quality of our work far outweighs the quantity, especially when we focus on our unique talents. If those around us do not know what lights their fire, ask questions. Engage. Direct them to me. Let’s help each other find our light.
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